Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Life of a Renter

Dear Maintenance Man,

When you came a few weeks ago, I was happy at the thought that you cleaned under the stove top. If it was dirty enough to prevent the burners from lighting, it must have been nasty. You got the burners to light again, so I thought it must be in great shape down there!

Well, this week the burners aren't lighting again. If it was as easy as cleaning them, I thought I could figure this thing out. I was very proud of myself when I finally figured out how to get the stove top off. My pride quickly turned to horror when I saw what lay beneath.

I must have misheard you last time, when you said you cleaned it. I want to throw up! I most certainly have not been cooking enough to drop all that JUNK down there! I am partly responsible for the oily mess on the bottom left, but I haven't eaten pretzel combos in years (yes, that's a pretzel combo in the middle...or at least it used to be, I think!), and I haven't thrown matches or nails or thumbtacks or five different kinds of pasta into the cavernous openings under the burners! I understand the occasional noodles falling through. But who was eating doritos over the stove?!?! And the bigger question, how could you have opened this up three weeks ago and left it that way?!?!?!

This makes me nervous about the dryer whose lint hose you also "cleaned." It is also working better, but these things are important to do correctly, I feel.

So yes, I cleaned that stove top up. I was nervous around all the wires and lines that I know contain gas, especially since they won't light. I felt like I was "playing with fire," so I didn't use any cleaners or chemicals, just water and far more than a healthy amount of paper towels. It's not great-looking down there, but now I don't need to throw up at the thought of what's lurking below deck!

What does it look like now? Well, trust me. It's better this way.


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