Friday, May 4, 2012

I am NOT Alone

With having a c-section, I'm not supposed to drive for 6 weeks.  I did drive to the library one evening this week but it's at the corner of our neighborhood.  I could have walked there if I'd had the time and wasn't so gluttonous about the number of books I checked out...
Anyway, my point is, I'm feeling a little isolated/suffocated all at once.  I'm at home with my tinies all the time.  When James drives us somewhere (I may or may not have been pretty excited about going to the dollar store last weekend...), it's still with all of us.  So I'm hungry for adult conversation and interaction, and a little overwhelmed at the constant-ness of my babies' need for me.  I think they have a tag-team system worked out, really.  :)
Plus the reality is that I'm the one who can feed Ellie (though we're going to try bottle feeding her some pumped breast milk soon so she learns that skill), and for some strange reason I'm the one Elijah cries and reaches for when he's upset, so even when James is home, I can't just check out or disappear.

I am NOT alone.

God is being very faithful to open my eyes to the reality of my situation.  He doesn't let me wallow in self-pity, thankfully!

I am NOT alone.

I have the gift of an incredible husband.  For the middle of the night feedings or fussiness, HE is the one who gets up, stumbles to the bassinet in the dark, and brings me the baby to nurse.  He changes her diaper in the middle of the feeding to help wake her up, then he swaddles her and puts her back down to sleep.  If she fusses, 85% of the time HE's the one who soothes her back to sleep. He says it's the least he can do because I do so much.  But really, I get to try to nap in the afternoon when he doesn't.  I'm home while he has work.  It's not like he's just lazing around, yet he still carries these nights with me.  It helps me feel much less isolated or alone.

I am NOT alone.

Friends from church have been bringing us meals for two weeks now.  I haven't had to cook (if anything, I've heated up leftovers!) for so long I may have forgotten how!  Even now, friends are still calling and saying they want to provide a meal for us and asking when we need it.  Our daughter will be a month old before I sit down to make a meal plan myself again!  So many people are SO thoughtful, bringing dinner and dessert, asking what I might be craving, are there any foods we're tired of, etc.  This is an incredible blessing!!!

I am NOT alone.

Sweet friends have been so responsive and willing to drive me and the kids.  I needed a ride to church for several weeks, and sent out an email to several people.  Within hours I had all the weeks covered-and this meant people driving to my house and driving my car full of me and my kids to church and back.  Not only that, but I've had help carrying stuff/children inside, etc.  That prompted a friend to offer to drive me to the grocery store-what a huge sacrifice of time!

I am NOT alone.

Other friends have texted or called or emailed to offer help during the week.  "Can I come hold the baby for you or play with Elijah so you can take a nap or relax?"  "Do you need me to come over and clean for you?"  I'm so thankful-and I'm taking them up on it (I'm growing!!!)  Other moms are willing to bring their kids over to play so that we can have a break from the sameness of our routine, just hanging out here at home.  One of those moms texted a couple hours before she came over and said she was on her way to the grocery store, could she bring me anything!  I am SO thankful for the community we have here!!!

I am NOT alone.

Just this week I've gotten several unsolicited emails and phone calls, some even from overseas friends, telling me I can do this, I am doing a good job, God is proud of me, I will survive, etc!  I did also solicit some cheerleading for myself (Yes, I sent an email last week with the subject line, "Encourage Me, Please!")... I am blessed and DEEPLY encouraged by people taking the time to speak life into me.

I am NOT alone.

Even in my exhaustion, while I'm not spending tons of time reading my Bible and praying and seeking the face of God, in the time I do have to seek His presence, He's so faithful and kinds to show up and speak life to me!  He is reminding me to abide, to lean on Him, to draw from the Well that never runs dry.  He is my source and I am more than a conqueror!

I am NOT alone.

We are going to make it.  We are going to thrive!  We are NOT alone.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so encouraged by your faithfulness! You are NOT alone. I love you Cat!

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