I'm in survival mode. So many of my thoughts these days involve just making it. "If I can just make it til nap time, then I can close my eyes." "Make it til James gets home and he can help deal with the neediness..." "Make it til she sleeps through the night and then we'll feel human again." "Make it til he learns more words and stops whining and crying for everything he wants..." I'm very focused on what it's going to take to "make it." I think it's okay for me to be in that place, but it's sure not where I want to stay. That's not how I want to live long term...thankfully, though, God has bigger plans. He's not focused just on me making it, but on what He's making me into. He is shaping me, forming me more into His image, teaching me more dependence on His Spirit. As I walked this morning, I meditated on the fruit of the Spirit, realizing how desperately I need an increase of EVERY one of them-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Thankfully, God isn't through with me, He really is making me into something better than I am now.
EXCELLENT article on motherhood today. It inspired these thoughts. I recommend it! :)